This topic was originally intended for place names, but why not cover personal names also?
https://www.yahoo.com/news/op-ed-immigrant-want-reclaim-110159572.html“Hi, Professor R, my name is Madhushree Ghosh.”
“Huh?”
“Madhushree.” He rolled his eyes and laughed.
“It’s too long, too difficult to pronounce. I will call you Madhu.”
He held keys to the PhD kingdom. I didn’t even know I had a choice. I became Madhu.
...
With a shortened name, for nearly three decades I became Madhu, life, or honey. It isn’t me. It wasn’t me. But I didn’t want to inconvenience my PhD advisor who held the power to grant my degree. My business cards soon said Madhu Ghosh. I introduced myself so. I didn’t want to inconvenience any Americans. After all, I was the grateful immigrant. One didn’t have to be difficult, did one?
As immigrants, we don’t want to create trouble. Trouble is “foreign” names. Trouble is our “otherness” — we are responsible in how we erase ourselves.
...
It took me till I was editing my memoir to realize the significance of what I had erased. I had erased my culture with my name. Isn’t it something when you don’t even know you’ve minimized yourself to fit in the box you’re expected to be in?
During the pandemic, I posted about my name on social media. Some white friends who I’d known forever DM’d me — “You told us to call you Madhu, so how are we to know?”
True, true. But I heard no such comments coming from people of color.
I slip up constantly and introduce myself as Madhu. Like I don’t believe I deserve to hold my own name.
The trouble with difficult names is that we are trying to fit in. The trouble is, when it’s unfamiliar, how do you ask for the pronunciation without insulting someone? The trouble is, we are all either too cautious or too flippant. The trouble is, we didn’t even notice when we erased ourselves.
I hope we can claim ourselves back.
To start, my name is Madhushree Ghosh, daughter of Sudhin and Sila Ghosh. Immigrant.
Well done. Also, you are American. Your PhD advisor, on the other hand, was not American, but a Western colonialist occupying territory that does not belong to him.