Author Topic: Tolerance Is an Ugly Word  (Read 1139 times)


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Re: Tolerance Is an Ugly Word
« Reply #30 on: March 08, 2023, 03:23:48 pm »
How should you politely decline a guest from coming over when they cleverly invite themselves over to your place?
Sometimes politeness won't get the job done. Some people will ignore things that they don't want to hear, and polite words are brushed off. You tell them “no.” You do it bluntly if they continue to make plans for you.

“This is not a good time for me to have guests in my home. I will keep you in mind when I plan something in the future.”

Walk away if possible or end the phone call after saying your answer.

There are people who if you tell them that your home isn't tidy enough for guests currently or another excuse will barrel straight through it by saying that they don't mind. Tell them that you do mind and are not having any guests over because you have too much to do. If they persist, you might try placing them into an awkward spot by asking, “Why are you so determined to get inside my home when I clearly do not want to entertain you there?”

Ultimately, if a person insists on showing up uninvited at your home, you do not have to allow the person inside. If you are not entertaining anyone, you can leave them standing at the door knocking until they go away. You could wrap a towel around your hair and only open the door on the chain if they persist in ringing the bell and say, “Why are you here? I'm busy.” Regardless of the excuse they give, you say that you're busy and need to go. Say “Goodbye.” Close and lock the door.

If you have invited other people over and do not want this one person to join you, you may have to go from polite excuse to their level of rudeness to get rid of them.

You: “What are you doing here?”

Them: “I heard that you are having a party.”

You: “I did not invite you to come to my home, and I'm busy with my guests. You showing up uninvited is unacceptable and rude. I will say this clearly one last time. I do not want to entertain you today. Since you just showed up uninvited, there will be no future invitations from me either. I do not want you in my home. Go away and do not come back. If you bother me again, I will call the police to report you. Leave now.” (Go back inside to your guests. Close the door in their face and lock it.)

It becomes more difficult if you are having a large party where someone else might answer your door or the uninvited person may walk around to your backyard and start helping themselves to your food and drink. Tell a handful of friends in advance about the unwanted person so they can let you know if the uninvited person turns up. Perhaps designate a few people to answer the door in case you are elsewhere, and tell them to leave that person on the porch and come to find you if he shows up. Be firm and tell them to leave if they manage to get inside. Have your backup group and a phone ready if you suspect that the person will not leave quietly.